The surest way to develop an adversary is to label them the enemy.

Words have so much power. Even in our minds. Saying the word enemy activates an anxious sensation in my spine. When we are in conflict with another, it feels safer to label them as “against us” or at the very least separate from us. Can we be brave enough to remove those labels and experience the conflict without defense? What would that look like? How would things change?

It is hard to understand someone else’s perspective when we are in conflict. Our brain tries to protect us with the fight or flight response, deactivating the parts of the brain responsible for reasoning. If the conflict is dangerous, this may be helpful. Most likely, though, our brain has interpreted our confusion or anger as a lethal threat. We have a lot of responsibility to learn to manage our brains, especially in a world so ripe with conflict. If we want to make a more peaceful world for ourselves and everyone else, this is where the work starts. Can we tend and befriend when confronted with misunderstanding?

If we learn to soothe our brains and bodies when in discussion with others, we will not only be better able to understand them, but we will be better at expressing our views. We have a much greater chance of changing the minds of others when we approach the conversation with calmness, non-judgment, and love. When we approach a conflict in anger, we shut down all lines of communication. What is our objective? If the objective is to find a solution to the conflicts we face, we must recognize anger as a symptom of the problem. We must explore our anger and fear, we must get to know and understand it, then we must set it aside. Setting down our anger is not a weakness, it is not giving up. It is this strength of wrangling our anger into clarity that has the power to unlock problems. 

Are we brave enough to envelop a conflict with love? We can start small. Conflict is scary, but we cannot turn our backs on each other when we don’t agree. We cannot simply not talk to those who disagree with us. We cannot let conflict grow while we look the other way. We must face the scary feelings in our hearts and explore them in safety, on our own or with assistance from therapists, teachers or spiritual advisors. We must know ourselves, our values and our objectives. We must practice those values every day. 

It is hard work to live in peace. It is not easy, and it is our responsibility to do our own work and stand beside one another. 

Resources:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/words-can-change-your-brain-andrew-newberg/1110791630

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_lesser_take_the_other_to_lunch

Yuletide

Our traditions have built one upon another over the years. They have grown up with us from the natural rhythms in our days and years. Ccelebration is an opportunity to revel in what is precious to us. We try our best to bring celebration into every day, but there is a need for a time when the work of working is less. 

For us, that time is Yuletide. Our Yuletide encompasses the space from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. Thanksgiving starts us off with gratitude: for each other, for the work accomplished in the past seasons, for the fullness of cupboards and warmth of blankets, for this time to be alive together. We focus a lot on local nature, history and foods. We think about our farmers and enjoy the offerings available here in our own little corner of the planet. Thanksgiving weekend we cut our tree at a local farm and start decorating our house for Solstice and Christmas.

I paint the children an advent calendar with a winter scene each year; they take turns finding the chocolate behind the little doors each day. We also have an activity advent garland that lists the little things we will do each day to enjoy the season. 
Our decorations are simple:  holiday/winter books ( various winter holidays) and nature from our yard.  When we celebrate Solstice and Christmas we are celebrating the magical patterns of miracles in the natural, divine and human realms. 

All of our celebrations are simple. There is an ease to them as they have arisen naturally from our unique lives. Tradition and ritual allow a pause and a nod to what is sacred to us, specifically.  New Years Day serves as a quiet start to the big work of the new year. 

May 2017 be full of peace and good cheer. 

On The Farm

This month's yoga series is based upon the book, On the Farm by David Elliott and illustrated by Holly Meade. Each page displays a beautiful relief stamp illustration of the farm animal and a short poem about the animal. The children really love this story and it doesn't get old. There are so many discussions to be had on each page. That is what makes this book so useful in a monthly format. We also have been exploring different types of stamps and plan to finish off the month with a special stamp project. 

During the yoga practice below, we will remember the poem from the book on each pose and sometimes bring other aspects of the animal into the pose. For the bee, we close our eyes and open our lips slightly, covering the ears. Then, make a buzzing sound on the exhale. With many of the other animals, we also make the noises they make in the story. I emphasize the inhale and exhale as we make these sounds. 

Namaste. 

The Hare and The Mango Children's Yoga Series

The week I was looking for a story that would help the children stay calm and work through problems. We've been having a lot of over-reaction! 

I remembered this tale that we have always really enjoyed. The story is based upon a Jataka Tale, The Timid Hare . The Illustrated copy we have uses different animals, all who are endangered or threatened today. The story has many layers and can be used to emphasize different objectives. Here, I was hoping to highlight the problems created by the hare's quick reaction, and the wisdom in the lions more thoughtful approach. Now, after doing the series and reading the book I can ask the children " Do you want to be the Lion or the Hare?"

We start by lighting our candle and saying our opening verse. Then we sit on our knees, hands resting on our lap and close our eyes for a few breaths. 

I ask the children to start the story, what pose do we do first? They answer the Hare, and we move into that pose. Inhale and bring the top of the head on the floor, hands reaching towards the feet, lifting the hips and pushing the top of the back outwards. exhale. We take a few breaths here. 

When the Hare begins to run, all the other Hares follow and soon they are met by who?

The boars. Inhale. So place your hands on the floor near your ears, push into your hands and push the hips backwards, but don't let them rest on your heels. Exhale. Take two breaths. 

Then the hares and the boars are running together and they meet the deer. Come onto all fours, then push onto your feet, step one foot backwards. Bend the front knee, open the hips, arms and chest, keeping the hips and shoulders aligned with each other. Gaze over the front hand. repeat with the other leg in front. 

The hares and the boars and the deer then meet the tigers. Inhale bringing both hands over head, and both feet together. Exhale and fold forward reaching for the earth. Place your hands on the ground and step backward, placing your knees on the floor. Now on all fours inhale and press your hands and knees/shins into the earth, as you exhale extend your right leg behind you. Inhale and extend your left arm in front of you. Take a few breaths gazing past your fingertips. Then repeat with the other side. 

The hares, the boars, the deer, and the tigers then encounter the rhinoceros. Inhale and push both hands and knees, and shins into the earth. Exhale. Inhale letting your back and belly hang towards the earth, while your tailbone and top of the head reach upward. Stay here for 3 breaths. 

The hares, the boars, the deer, the tigers and the rhinos are now all running scared together when they are stopped by the Lion and his mighty roar. Sit back on your knees, bring your hands up and roar a deep loud roar that could stop a 5000 animal stampede. Now take a deep breath in silence. 

The lion goes to investigate the situation where the story started, in the mango grove.  Inhale and push your hands into the ground beside your knees, push up on the exhale and come to standing. Inhale and spread the toes wide on your right foot, exhale and bring the left foot to the inside of the standing leg. Bring your hands to your heart and inhale. Exhale and say "hmmmmmmmmm". The lion is looking to see what is going on, he says "hmmmmmmmm". Now, inhale, release the foot on the exhale and repeat with the other side. Now, the lion sees the fallen mango that started this commotion, so inhale and with the exhale say "ahhhhhhhhhhhh". The wise lion now sees the truth and says "ahhhhhhhhhh". Inhale, exhale and come to standing. 

The lion runs back to the plain and tells all the animals that everything is alright. They should all go home and relax. Inhale and reach your arms above your head. Exhale and fold forward as you bring your hands toward the earth. Now place your hands on the floor, bending your knees some, inhale and look up, flattening your back. Exhale and step your feet way back behind you, coming into a plank position. Inhale as you come to sit on your knees. Exhale. Inhale as you again come into the pose for Hare, who has come home to rest without any worries at all. 

Now we sit back on our knees and take a few breaths before we come together to close our practice and blow out our candle.