How I Use Meditation in the Face of Conflict

I remember many years ago when I was a new yoga student reading an article about a yoga teacher who walked into a room at a retreat and yelled at everyone. The student writing the article, and the teacher, were expressing how there is a place for anger in a peaceful heart. I have said similar things to my own mother. Sometimes I will express myself passionately and she will ask “ Have your students seen you this way.”  Well, some of them, yes. Because being centered and mindful does not mean there is no anger or fear. It means I recognize these emotions for what they are. They are highlighters, signs of danger, or warnings from my own heart and body. As a practitioner of mindfulness, I can be very angry or scared and realize I do not need to act on these feelings. I can calm myself quickly by controlling my breath.  Controlling my breath sets off a series of other bodily reactions as my brain recognizes there is no immediate threat and I don’t need the adrenaline anymore. Now, here comes the hard part.

When I feel these powerful emotions I know I need to be still, be quiet and listen. Prayer, mindfulness, and meditation are not tools for making the world more happy, or for forgetting the pain and discord that cause our uncomfortable feelings. Prayer, mindfulness, and meditation are tools which I embrace so I may submerge myself in conflict and maintain clarity. When I use these tools, I can still feel my emotions but my body does not react to them. Sometimes anger and fear are based on old emotions (or biases) and I have the chance to overcome them. Sometimes action is required and I can navigate from a position of clarity. I can listen deeply to my heart; I can hear and see solutions which were once obscured. 

This is what allows me to stand with a screaming child, to hold someone’s hand in mourning, to read the news. This is what allows me to give into empathy completely without losing my ability to cope. From this point of clarity, I can navigate scary situations with courage and unknot anger to get the to the deeper problem. I can find compassion for myself and others. 

" Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”- Gandhi. 

This "correct understanding” is not just the understanding of each other, but the problems we face and the solutions available. The road to peace takes practice and patience. 

Abundance Day Soup

It's the beginning of the really busy harvest season, and I am literally tripping over produce in the kitchen. We receive such an abundance of beautiful, nourishing foods from the co-op every week and I feel very responsible for making sure none of it goes to waste. 

Feeding a big troop of people ( large and small people) every week has taught me so much. There are so many layers to the process of providing nourishing foods in a holistic and balanced way. Finding affordable, fresh food is important. One of the ways we have made food more affordable is to buy more of what is in season, when the prices are best ( for us and the farmers) Eating locally, and buying from farms we know, has helped me to understand how the environment and weather influence the foods we have available. This makes me feel a greater connection to the Earth. I feel honored to eat what is available and honored to acknowledge what this special corner of the world, her people, her plants, and animals have to offer my family. That is why we are so concerned about what we eat, and where it grows. 

All this abundance now, will feed my family and the preschool when the snow falls. But, at the moment it is just everywhere, spilling out of the fridge and cupboards. To be honest, it is causing a little stress- for we cannot let it go to waste and we must get it processed! 

And so, here you have my abundance soup. We had all these ingredients in abundance and I had little time. So, now it is all chopped and cooked and ready to be frozen as soup for cold winter days to come. 

Of course, the girls and I did have a few cup-fulls for lunch today, it does taste like a celebration of summer. It makes me happy. 

Abundance Day ( Tomato and Mushroom) Soup

2 cups of button mushrooms coarsely chopped

1 small head of garlic

prinkle of dry thyme

A bit of olive oil

Salt to taste

1/4 cup of plum wine (could sub with anything white that isn't too dry)

1 quart of chicken or veggie broth

1 giant heirloom tomato

28oz of crushed tomatoes

1 cup of finely chopped basil ( two handfuls of leaves)

Freshly ground pepper

Heat the olive oil in a stock pot set to medium while you chopped up the mushrooms and mince the garlic. Add these to the hot oil and sprinkle with salt and dried thyme to your taste. Let garlic and mushrooms sautee until they are golden around the edges ( 3ish mins), with occasional stirring. 

Chop up the tomato into 1 inch chunks and add to the pot. Once the juices from the tomato have released and started to bubble at the bottom of the pot, add the wine. Let this simmer for about 3 minutes and add the broth and crushed tomatoes. After these have all been combined, add the chopped basil and freshly ground pepper. Give everything a stir and turn down the heat to medium low. Let the soup simmer for an hour or two before serving. 

Cultivating a Simple Life

Ocean City, MD. As I played with asana and the ocean, Lyra played with the camera and perspective. 

When my eldest was three we took our first family vacation. My father had rented a house at the beach and we were super excited. Not only was it our first vacation as a family, but my husband and I hadn't ever been on vacation together either.

I had been practicing yoga and mindfulness for a few years at that point. It was about half way through the trip when I noticed the place we were visiting was not that different from the place we lived ( aside from the Ocean). Being in a new place, with a different schedule, shifts the perspective and allows us to contemplate and feel the world in a slightly different way. Since that trip, my husband and I have always used our little times away to find something to bring back into our ordinary every-day lives. Each year, once we are home from our adventure, we contemplate what part we really loved and want to have more of in the ordinary. We are big fans of ordinary. Ordinary life is full of magic and when we give it attention, the sanctity of ordinary every-day life becomes amplified. 

This year we have been practicing stepping out of our routine a little more often. As we have done this, we have talked a lot about our work. We have talked about how we can cultivate less segregation in the various aspects of our lives, striving for even more holism.  We are trying to bring play into work and work into play, enjoying that work is simply another expression of ourselves. 

When we returned from our various adventures this year, I tried to focus on what we love about living where we do. I sought out the aspects of living in a small city and enjoyed them, cultivating the experiences we want as a family. We enjoyed fishing at the lake and walking to lunch. We had friends over to play in woods and shared foods from beloved farmers. It's just ordinary every-day stuff, and it's pretty magical. 

In next month's workshop, Suburban Simplicity, we explore how each of us can amplify the simple into extraordinary. Space is limited, please register here.

Vernal Equinox

Spring is here, in the Northern Hemisphere. A yearly renewal and regeneration of the land, and ourselves on this earth. As the world becomes fertile again, we also seem to be brimming with creativity and new direction. 

This is where I am. I feel excited by my fertile thoughts, my fertile heart and mind. I am past the longing for new babes, but the spring reminds me that all my work follows the universal rhythm of conception, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. Whether we are creating humans or ideas, if we are anxious for the pregnancy to be over we miss the joy of creation.  I've stopped and pondered over this. It has brought back joy and grace to the creative process. Just like being with child, sometimes we are filled with joy and sometimes we are overwhelmed.

This pregnancy analogy led me to a birth comparison that resonates with how I was feeling this weekend. When we labor, we need support, intuition, and education. Even with the best preparation, there still comes a part of labor where it is just HARD, and we wish to give up.  With experience, we learn that if we ride through transition it will soon be time to push. It is like that when we are climbing toward some new accomplishment in our life, there reaches a point like transition.  We wish to give up. We need true and loving support, people who authentically understand what we are trying to do.  We need patience and faith.

Yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices help us ride this wave of insecurity. These practices allow us to observe our minds and hearts with awareness. Without this observer presence (curious, patient and probing), we may bow to fear and change course. With a practice of non-judgement, we can explore our path and wait out the transition phase. As hard as this part is, it's fun. It is the part of yoga, and labor, that I find most engaging. The gentle pushing by not pushing; the hard work of not working hard, and the relaxing into the fear. Suddenly, as soon as we relax into the fear, everything seems less scary and surreally beautiful. There is the magic.

Refreshment, Fertility, Renewal, Creativity. May we revel in the Sacred Magic of Spring.